Long ago, on a cloudy, wet winter's day (could have been in summer too--it's always cloudy and wet in Poor Alberni), our heroes Jordie F. Martin, Carter Bjornson, Joawee Christ, and Rotten Tom were loitering at their usual hang out, Charlie's Store, during a school lunch break. "I really don't like the way things are going in this town," blurted out Rotten Tom. The group paused...looked at Tom...paused one more time...and continued with their loitering session, completely ignoring him. Then, completely out of left field, Carter yelled,"I really don't like the way things are going in this town!" Suddenly the group was overcome with a renewed vigor and they broke into a song...click to listen...

"Sorry," Joawee said. "That had nothing to do with anything..." Then, in unison, the group exclaimed,"YES! Something needs to be done! This town needs a new direction. New leaders. Musical leaders. YES! Musical leaders that play foul punk rock/ska/jazz ...and play it badly! YES! We will be the champions of hell....No, wait, not hell...Poor Alberni of course." Suddenly out of nowhere, jocks pulled up to the corner in a raised truck, complete with hunting lights and proceeded to throw tomatoes at our heroes.

The tomatoes did not come as a shock. They realized that something like this would happen as it always does every lunch hour. As the tomatoes hit our heroes, the splats and the mess from somehow brought along a magical feeling. Perhaps it was the inspirational speech, or the fact that everybody was stoned out of their trees, but something was clearly happening. They each felt it. Joawee felt smarter, Carter felt spunkier, Rotten Tom felt even more like complaining, and Jordie felt even more stoned than normal. They all looked to each other. Soon after, the bell rang and the group split and returned to class.

During his math class (which he spent in the hall due to his foul tomato stench), Rotten Tom reflected on the experience at lunch. He began to see the faults of all of the people around him. He began to bitch...and bitch he did. He ranted to an empty hallway. He ranted about all kinds of things...click to listen...and then it was over (class that is). The halls began to flood with people. They drowned Rotten Tom out completely with their mindless chatter and also stepped on him and pushed him into the lockers. He walked back out to Charlie's store, slowly but surely.

"Hey, you guys. Do I stink? I keep smelling this sick tomato smell and it won't go away..." muttered Tom as he approached the group. Everybody looked at Tom, then dismissed his comments. Suddenly laser lights appeared and the group broke into song once again...click to listen..."Damn it! What the hell are you talking about?" asked Tom. Again, no answer. The group stared blindly into the streets for a moment. *SPLAT* Another bombardement of tomatoes. Again, the feeling from before resurfaced...but this time, tenfold. The group began a little dance number. They formed a pyramid (yes, a four person pyramid) and suddenly transformed. In a flash of light and sparkles (and plenty of sparkles), they each formed tomato heads and, once again, broke into song...click to listen...

It was agreed upon by the entire world (at least of Poor Alberni), that this group would be known as Tomayto Tomahto. It was also agreed that they would run the world and be paid millions of dollars and be loved by everyone...except for people who want to die. Somehow that part didn't work out.