2. Courtesy of Dr. Brian Thair: "The end of April can't come too soon. If one more student tells me that the native North Americans were responsible for the extinction of the Buffola, I'll spew. Another Saterday afternoon in Paradise."
3. Courtesy of Dr. Elizabeth Grove-White: "A student essay, from my days at University of Toronto, claiming that Lear's tragedy happened because 'he exposed himself to his daughters'.
From the same period and in response to Yeats's Leda and the Swan: 'the Trojan Wars happened because Troy and Helen ran off together to Paris'."
4. A refugee from the old English Composition Test at UBC in the 1980s: "The ideal marriage consists of love and fondleness."
5. An English student in a degree exam at the University of Glasgow (c. 1980): "Christ's erection on the cross must have been an impressive sight."
6. A student's opening gambit: "Oedipus the King is not a tradegy".
7. In a recent first-year essay, an apparent conflation of "dramatic" and "traumatic': "The hassle of government officials, misplaced relatives and unknown future all lend to a tramatic experience."