Franz
Kafka
A Report
for An Academy
This translation by Ian
Johnston of Malaspina University-College, Nanaimo, BC, has certain copyright
restrictions. For information please use the following link: Copyright.
For comments or question please contact Ian
Johnston. For index of other Kafka stories available at this site,
please click here.
This text was last revised in March 2009.
A Report for an Academy
Esteemed Gentlemen
of the Academy!
You show me the
honour of calling upon me to submit a report to the Academy concerning my
previous life as an ape.
In this sense,
unfortunately, I cannot comply with your request. Almost five years separate me
from my existence as an ape, a short time perhaps when measured by the
calendar, but endlessly long to gallop through, as I have done, at times
accompanied by splendid people, advice, applause, and orchestral music, but
basically alone, since all those accompanying me held themselves back a long
way from the barrier, in order to preserve the image. This achievement would
have been impossible if I had stubbornly wished to hold onto my origin, onto
the memories of my youth. Giving up that obstinacy was, in fact, the highest
command that I gave myself. I, a free ape, submitted myself to this yoke. In so
doing, however, my memories for their part constantly closed themselves off
against me. If people had wanted it, my journey back at first would have been
possible through the entire gateway which heaven builds over the earth, but as
my development was whipped onwards, the gate simultaneously grew lower and
narrower all the time. I felt myself more comfortable and more enclosed in the
world of human beings. The storm which blew me out of my past eased off. Today
it is only a gentle breeze which cools my heels. And the distant hole through
which it comes and through which I once came has become so small that, even if
I had sufficient power and will to run back there, I would have to scrape the
fur off my body in order to get through. Speaking frankly, as much as I like
choosing metaphors for these things—speaking frankly: your experience as apes,
gentlemen—to the extent that you have something of that sort behind you—cannot
be more distant from you than mine is from me. But it tickles at the heels of
everyone who walks here on earth, the small chimpanzee as well as the great
Achilles.[1]
In the narrowest
sense, however, I can perhaps answer your question, nonetheless, and indeed I
do so with great pleasure.
The first thing I
learned was to give a handshake. The handshake displays candour. Today, when I
stand at the pinnacle of my career, may I add to that first handshake also my
candid words. For the Academy it will not provide anything essentially new and
will fall far short of what people have asked of me and what with the best will
I cannot speak about—but nonetheless it should demonstrate the direct line by
which someone who was an ape was forced into the world of men and which he has
continued there. Yet I would certainly not permit myself to say even the trivial
things which follow if I were not completely sure of myself and if my position
on all the great music hall stages of the civilized world had not established
itself unassailably.
I come from the
Gold Coast. For an account of how I was captured I rely on the reports of
strangers. A hunting expedition from the firm of Hagenback—incidentally, since
then I have already emptied a number of bottles of good red wine with the
leader of that expedition—lay hidden in the bushes by the shore when I ran down
in the evening in the middle of a band of apes for a drink. Someone fired a
shot. I was the only one struck. I received two hits.
One was in the
cheek—that was superficial. But it left behind a large hairless red scar which
earned me the name Red Peter—a revolting name, completely inappropriate,
presumably something invented by an ape, as if the only difference between me
and the recently deceased trained ape Peter, who was well known here and there,
was the red patch on my cheek. But this is only by the way.
The second shot hit
me below the hip. It was serious. It’s the reason that today I still limp a
little. Recently I read in an article by one of the ten thousand gossipers who
vent their opinions about me in the newspapers that my ape nature is not yet
entirely repressed. The proof is that when visitors come I take pleasure in
pulling off my trousers to show the entry wound caused by this shot. That
fellow should have each finger of his writing hand shot off one by one. So far
as I am concerned, I may pull my trousers down in front of anyone I like.
People will not find there anything other than well cared for fur and the scar
from—let us select here a precise word for a precise purpose, something that
will not be misunderstood—the scar from a wicked shot. Everything is perfectly
open; there is nothing to hide. When it comes to a question of the truth, every
great mind discards the most subtle refinements of manners. However, if that
writer were to pull down his trousers when he gets a visitor, that would
certainly produce a different sight, and I’ll take it as a sign of reason that
he does not do that. But then he should not bother me with his delicate sensibilities.
After those shots I
woke up—and here my own memory gradually begins—in a cage between decks on the
Hagenbeck steamship. It was no four-sided cage with bars, but only three walls
fixed to a crate, so that the crate constituted the fourth wall. The whole
thing was too low to stand upright and too narrow for sitting down. So I
crouched with bent knees, which shook all the time, and since at first I
probably did not wish to see anyone and to remain constantly in the darkness, I
turned towards the crate, while the bars of the cage cut into the flesh on my
back. People consider such confinement of wild animals beneficial in the very
first period of time, and today I cannot deny, on the basis of my own experience,
that in a human sense that is, in fact, the case.
But at that time I
didn’t think about that. For the first time in my life I was without a way out—at
least there was no direct way out. Right in front of me was the crate, its
boards fitted closely together. Well, there was a hole running right through
the boards. When I first discovered it, I welcomed it with a blissfully happy
howl of ignorance. But this hole was not nearly big enough to stick my tail
through, and all the power of an ape could not make it any bigger.
According to what I
was told later, I am supposed to have made remarkably little noise. From that
people concluded that either I must soon die or, if I succeeded in surviving
the first critical period, I would be very capable of being trained. I survived
this period. Muffled sobbing, painfully searching out fleas, wearily licking a
coconut, banging my skull against the wall of the crate, sticking out my tongue
when anyone came near me—these were the first occupations in my new life. In
all of them, however, there was only one feeling: no way out. Nowadays, of
course, I can portray those ape-like feelings only with human words and, as a result,
I misrepresent them. But even if I can no longer attain the old truth of the
ape, at least it lies in the direction I have described—of that there is no
doubt.
Up until then I had
had so many ways out, and now I no longer had one. I was tied down. If they had
nailed me down, my freedom to move would not have been any less. And why? If
you scratch raw the flesh between your toes, you won’t find the reason. If you
press your back against the bars of the cage until it almost slices you in two,
you won’t find the answer. I had no way out, but I had to come up with one for
myself. For without that I could not live. Always in front of that crate wall—I
would inevitably have died a miserable death. But according to Hagenbeck, apes
belong at the crate wall—well, that meant I would cease being an ape. A clear
and beautiful train of thought, which I must have planned somehow with my
belly, since apes think with their bellies.
I’m worried that
people do not understand precisely what I mean by a way out. I use the word in
its most common and fullest sense. I am deliberately not saying freedom. I do
not mean this great feeling of freedom on all sides. As an ape, I perhaps
recognized it, and I have met human beings who yearn for it. But as far as I am
concerned, I did not demand freedom either then or today. Incidentally, among
human beings people all too often are deceived by freedom. And since freedom is
reckoned among the most sublime feelings, the corresponding disappointment is
also among the most sublime. In the variety shows, before my entrance, I have
often watched a pair of artists busy on trapezes high up in the roof. They
swung themselves, they rocked back and forth, they jumped, they hung in each
other’s arms, one held the other by clenching the hair with his teeth. “That,
too, is human freedom,” I thought, “self-controlled movement.” What a mockery
of sacred nature! At such a sight, no structure would stand up to the laughter
of the apes.
No, I didn’t want
freedom. Only a way out—to the right or left or anywhere at all. I made no
other demands, even if the way out should also be only an illusion. The demand
was small; the disappointment would not be any greater—to move on further, to
move on further! Only not to stand still with arms raised, pressed again a
crate wall.
Today I see clearly
that without the greatest inner calm I would never have been able to get out.
And, in fact, I probably owe everything that I have become to the calmness
which came over me after the first days there on the ship. And, in turn, I owe
that calmness to the people on the ship.
They are good
people, in spite of everything. Today I still enjoy remembering the clang of
their heavy steps, which used to echo then in my half sleep. They had the habit
of tackling everything extremely slowly. If one of them wanted to rub his eyes,
he raised his hand as if it were a hanging weight. Their jokes were gross but
hearty. Their laughter was always mixed with a rasp which sounded dangerous but
meant nothing. They always had something in their mouths to spit out, and they
didn’t care where they spat. They always complained that my fleas sprung over
onto them, but they were never seriously angry at me because of it. They even
knew that fleas liked being in my fur and that fleas are jumpers. They learned
to live with that. When they had no duties, sometimes a few of them sat down in
a semi-circle around me. They didn’t speak much, but only made noises to each
other and smoked their pipes, stretched out on the crates. They slapped their
knees as soon as I made the slightest movement, and from time to time one of
them would pick up a stick and tickle me where I liked it. If I were invited
today to make a journey on that ship, I would certainly decline the invitation,
but it’s equally certain that the memories I could dwell on of the time there
between the decks would not be totally hateful.
The calmness which
I acquired in this circle of people prevented me above all from any attempt to
escape. Looking at it nowadays, it seems to me as if I had at least sensed that
I had to find a way out if I wanted to live, but that this way out could not be
reached by escaping. I no longer know if escape was possible, but I think it
was: for an ape it should always be possible to flee. With my present teeth I
have to be careful even with the ordinary task of cracking a nut, but then I
must have been able, over time, to succeed in chewing through the lock on the
door. I didn’t do that. What would I have achieved by doing it? No sooner would
I have stuck my head out, than they would have captured me again and locked me
up in an even worse cage. Or I could have taken refuge unnoticed among the
other animals—say, the boa constrictors opposite me—and breathed my last in
their embraces. Or I could have managed to steal way up to the deck and to jump
overboard. Then I’d have tossed back and forth for a little while on the ocean
and would have drowned. Acts of despair. I did not think things through in such
a human way, but under the influence of my surroundings conducted myself as if
I had worked things out.
I did not work
things out, but I did observe things with complete tranquility. I saw these men
going back and forth, always the same faces, the same movements. Often it
seemed to me as if there was only one man. So the man or these men went
undisturbed. A lofty purpose dawned on me. No one promised me that if I could become
like them the cage would be removed. Such promises, apparently impossible to
fulfill, are not made. But if one makes the fulfillment good, then later the
promises appear precisely there where one had looked for them earlier without
success. Now, these men in themselves were nothing which attracted me very
much. If I had been a follower of that freedom I just mentioned, I would
certainly have preferred the ocean to the way out displayed in the dull gaze of
these men. But in any case, I observed them for a long time before I even
thought about such things—in fact, the accumulated observations first pushed me
in the proper direction.
It was so easy to
imitate these people. I could already spit on the first day. Then we used to
spit in each other’s faces. The only difference was that I licked my face clean
afterwards. They did not. Soon I was smoking a pipe like an old man, and if I
then also pressed my thumb down into the bowl of the pipe, the entire area
between decks cheered. Still, for a long time I did not understand the difference
between an empty and a full pipe.
I had the greatest
difficulty with the bottle of alcohol. The smell was torture to me. I forced
myself with all my power, but weeks went by before I could overcome my
reaction. Curiously enough, the people took this inner struggle more seriously
than anything else about me. In my memories I don’t distinguish the people, but
there was one who always came back, alone or with comrades, day and night, at
very different times. He’d stand with the bottle in front of me and give me
instructions. He did not understand me. He wanted to solve the riddle of my
being. He used to uncork the bottle slowly and then look at me, in order to
test if I had understood. I confess that I always looked at him with wildly
over-eager attentiveness. No human teacher has ever found on the entire earthly
globe such a student of human beings. After he’d uncorked the bottle, he’d
raise it to his mouth. I’d gaze at him, right into his throat. He would nod,
pleased with me, and set the bottle to his lips. Delighted with my gradual
understanding, I’d squeal and scratch myself all over, wherever it was convenient.
He was happy. He’d set the bottle to his mouth and take a swallow. Impatient
and desperate to emulate him, I would defecate over myself in my cage—and that
again gave him great satisfaction. Then, holding the bottle at arm’s length and
bringing it up once more with a swing, he’d drink it down with one gulp, exaggerating
his backward bending as a way of instructing me. Exhausted with so much great
effort, I could no longer follow and would hang weakly onto the bars, while he
ended the theoretical lesson by rubbing his belly and grinning.
Now the practical
exercises first began. Was I not already too tired out by the theoretical part?
Yes, indeed, far too weary. That’s part of my fate. Nonetheless, I’d grab the
proffered bottle as well as I could and uncork it trembling. Once I’d managed
to do that, new energies would gradually take over. I lifted the bottle—with
hardly any difference between me and the original—put it to my lips—and throw
it away in disgust, in disgust, although it was empty and filled only with the
smell, throw it with disgust onto the floor. To the sorrow of my teacher, to my
own greater sorrow. And I still did not console him or myself when, after
throwing away the bottle, I did not forget to give my belly a splendid rub and
to grin as I do so.
All too often, the
lesson went that way. And to my teacher’s credit, he was not angry with me.
Well, sometimes he held his burning pipe against my fur in some place or other
which I could reach only with difficulty, until it began to burn. But then he
would put it out himself with his huge good hand. He wasn’t angry with me. He
realized that we were fighting on the same side against ape nature and that I
had the more difficult part.
It was certainly a
victory for him and for me when one evening in front of a large circle of
onlookers—perhaps it was a celebration, a gramophone was playing, an officer
was wandering around among the people—when on this evening, at a moment when no
one was watching, I grabbed a bottle of alcohol which had been inadvertently
left standing in front of my cage, uncorked it just as I had been taught, amid
the rising attention of the group, set it against my mouth and, without
hesitating, with my mouth making no grimace, like an expert drinker, with my
eyes rolling around, splashing the liquid in my throat, I really and truly
drank the bottle empty, and then threw it away, no longer in despair, but like
an artist. Well, I did forget to scratch my belly. But instead of that, because
I couldn’t do anything else, because I had to, because my senses were roaring,
I cried out a short and good “Hello!” breaking out into human sounds. And with
this cry I sprang into the community of human beings, and I felt its echo—“Just
listen. He’s talking!”—like a kiss on my entire sweat-soaked body.
I’ll say it again:
imitating human beings was not something which pleased me. I imitated them
because I was looking for a way out, for no other reason. And even in that
victory little was achieved. My voice immediately failed me again. It first
came back months later. My distaste for the bottle of alcohol became even
stronger. But at least my direction was given to me once and for all.
When I was handed
over in Hamburg to my first trainer, I soon realized the two possibilities open
to me: the zoological garden or the music hall. I did not hesitate. I said to
myself: use all your energy to get into the Music Hall. That is the way out.
The Zoological Garden is only a new barred cage. If you go there, you’re lost.
And I learned,
gentlemen. Alas, one learns when one has to. One learns when one wants a way
out. One learns ruthlessly. One supervises oneself with a whip and tears
oneself apart at the slightest resistance. My ape nature ran off, head over
heels, out of me, so that in the process my first teacher himself almost became
an ape and soon had to give up training and be carried off to a mental
hospital. Fortunately he was soon discharged again.
But I went through
many teachers—indeed, even several teachers at once. As I became even more
confident of my abilities and the general public followed my progress and my
future began to brighten, I took on teachers myself, let them sit down in five
interconnected rooms, and studied with them all simultaneously, by constantly
leaping from one room into another.
And such progress!
The penetrating effects of the rays of knowledge from all sides on my awaking
brain! I don’t deny the fact—I was delighted with it. But I also confess that I
did not overestimate it, not even then, even less today. With an effort which
up to this point has never been repeated on earth, I have attained the average
education of a European man. That would perhaps not amount to much, but it is
something insofar as it helped me out of the cage and created this special way
out for me—the way out of human beings. There is an excellent German
expression: to beat one’s way through the bushes. That I have done. I have
beaten my way through the bushes. I had no other way, always assuming that
freedom was not a choice.
If I review my
development and its goal up to this point, I do not complain, but I not am
content. With my hands in my trouser pockets, the bottle of wine on the table,
I half lie and half sit in my rocking chair and gaze out the window. If I have
a visitor, I welcome him as is appropriate. My impresario sits in the parlour.
If I ring, he comes and listens to what I have to say. In the evening I almost
always have a performance, and my success could hardly rise any higher. When I
come home late at night from banquets, from scientific societies, or from
social gatherings in someone’s home, a small half-trained female chimpanzee is
waiting for me, and I take my pleasure with her the way apes do. During the day
I don’t want to see her. For she has in her gaze the madness of a bewildered
trained animal. I’m the only one who recognizes that, and I cannot bear it.
On the whole, at
any rate, I have achieved what I wished to achieve. You shouldn’t say it was
not worth the effort. In any case, I don’t want any human being’s judgment. I
only want to expand knowledge. I simply report. Even to you, esteemed gentlemen
of the Academy, I have only made a report.
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